


Snexy (Snake XY)

by Taliax



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Humor, Idiots in Love, Kwami Swap, Love Confessions, M/M, Or really just XY being an idiot, Sick Character, Snake Luka Couffaine | Viperion, Snake XY, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26506999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taliax/pseuds/Taliax
Summary: While Luka is sick, XY accidentally ends up with the snake miraculous.  But he could really use a Second Chance for more than just facing supervillains...
Relationships: Luka Couffaine/XY (Miraculous Ladybug)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [j_majka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_majka/gifts).



> Happy birthday Janai!! I didn't think I'd have time to write you something (and technically I didn't, which is why this is two chapters instead of a oneshot) but hey!! here we are!! Love you and hope your day is mega cash money!!
> 
> Edit: also thanks to Alyce for beta reading!! sorry i am The Worst at remembering to credit people, feel free 2 beat me with a stick

“Luka, I need your help—” Ladybug froze halfway through Luka’s tiny round window. 

That didn’t look very comfortable. If she was going to sneak into Luka’s room, she should really commit. XY had gotten in by leaping onto the deck, which was way better than getting stuck like Ladybug was, with her one arm and leg still hanging outside.

“You’re not Luka,” she said to XY, like that wasn’t obvious.

“Duh. I’ve got my name on my chest.” He pointed to his necklace. Maybe she couldn’t read?

She was still sitting there. Crouching there. Scrunching there?

“...What are you doing in Luka’s room?” she asked. “And why are you holding a trash can?”

He looked down at the empty trash can in his hand.

“None of your business,” he said, because Luka probably wouldn’t appreciate him telling a superhero that he was currently barfing his guts out in the bathroom. Luka hadn’t even told _XY_ that he was sick. XY had only found out by crashing Luka’s house-boat-thing when he didn’t answer his texts.

“Nevermind.” She shook her head, almost hitting it against the window’s metal rim. “I just need to find Luka. Where is he?”

“He’s, uh, busy.” He hugged the trash can tighter. “Why? Is a bad guy after him?”

“No! Of course not, I just need—”

An explosion went off in the distance. She whipped her head around to look towards it, and this time she _did_ whack the window’s rim.

“Ow.” She tried to rub her temple, but the small octagon-shaped box in her hand got in the way. “I don’t have time to wait for him. Is he going to get back soon?”

“Uh…”

Another explosion. This one looked like… cheese? That was definitely cheese sticking to the Eiffel Tower in the distance. Mmmmmm. XY could really go for some mac n’ cheese right now.

“Just give this to him,” she said, quickly tossing the box into his trash can. “And _don’t_ look in it. He’ll know what to do.”

Before he could ask any questions—not that he knew _what_ to ask—she was falling backwards out the window and yo-yoing away. Huh. Guess she wasn’t stuck after all.

“XY?” Luka’s voice came weakly from behind the bathroom door. “What’s… nngh…”

“Oh!” XY jumped and ran to the door. He cracked it open and slid the trashcan through without peeking. “Ladybug brought you something. Maybe she knew you were sick?”

Luka groaned. It didn’t sound like an I’m-about-to-hurl groan this time. Not an XY-you’re-so-annoying-why-are-we-friends groan. Not even an XY-please-kiss-me- _right-now_ groan.

(XY had never heard that last one. But he’d imagined it enough times.)

“This is bad.”

“What? I didn’t tell her you were hurling, if that’s what you’re worried about. Her super-bug senses must have told her.”

“No, she definitely doesn’t know.” He sighed. XY wished he could reach inside and squeeze his hand, but Luka had made it clear that they _weren’t_ close enough for XY to watch him sit on the toilet.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“It’s…”

XY heard him retch again. Hopefully he took Ladybug’s present out of the trash can before he threw up in it.

“Ugh. You’re gonna find out sooner or later, I guess.” His voice was shaky, nothing like the smooth tenor XY was used to. “I’m a superhero.”

Somewhere there was a joke about Luka being the only hero XY needed, but he should probably save that pick up line for when Luka wasn’t in the middle of throwing up.

Wait. Luka was a  _superhero?_

“Are you Chat Noir?” he asked.

“What? No. You saw us in the same room before. When I was Silencer?”

“Ohhh, right. And you can’t be Ladybug… right?”

Luka sighed. “I’m Viperion. And if Ladybug needs my Second Chance—” he retched again, but XY didn’t hear anything come out.

“Second Chance,” he murmured. Luka being Viperion made sense. He could give anyone a second chance—even XY.

Plus, they both had really sexy hair. Almost as sexy as XY’s.

“You’ve got to… get this back to Ladybug,” Luka said. The little box slid across the floor, through the crack in the door. “She’ll have to pick another Viperion. Maybe… Adrien. He did it before, I think.”

Adrien? Huh. His hair was _way_ less sexy. Definitely not sexy enough to be a superhero.

XY picked up the box and got a super awesome idea. 

“Don’t worry. I know the perfect person.”

XXX

“ _XY?”_ Ladybug shouted while diving away from a blast of cheese. “What are you doing here? Where’s Lu—Viperion?”

“I’m not XY!” He struck a pose, purple suited hands on his hips. His coif of purple-streaked hair streaming tall and long behind him. He’d expected to look just like Viperion, but this suit worked much better with his complexion. “I’m Snexy!”

Some turtle hero got knocked back, then stuck to the ground in a splatter of cheddar. “Geez, and I thought Chloé’s name was bad.”

“It’s awesome! It stands for _Snake XY._ And it rhymes with sexy. Which I am.”

Even though the turtle was stuck with his back against the ground, he found the energy to tilt his head back and raise an eyebrow. XY could respect him for that.

“Less talking, more fighting!” The fox girl—what was her name, Rude?—spun her long flute, shielding her from another cheese blast. 

“We’ll discuss this later.” Ladybug glared before dragging XY behind one of the corners of the Eiffel Tower. “Right now we need you to use Second Chance. You did listen to Sass before you transformed, right?”

“Pshaw, like I needed to. I could do this in my sleep.” He pulled the tongue of his bracelet, just like he’d seen Viperion— _Luka!—_ do at least twenty times on the Ladyblog. “Second Chance!”

“Okay, well, we’re off to a good start.” She sounded like she was talking to herself. “Now we have five minutes to finish this battle. The cheese is inescapable, so if Chat, Rena, or I get hit, you slide your bracelet back, okay?”

“Okay.” XY grinned.

“And keep an eye on Carapace. Don’t let the supervillain take his bracelet. I would’ve rather started Second Chance before he got hit, but beggars can’t be choosers.” She sighed. “Good luck.”

She threw out her yo-yo, swinging up to the second tier of the tower, where a man stood with… were those spray cans instead of hands? That explained where the cheese had come from.

Well, Ladybug could take care of that. XY just had to watch and Second Chance if anything went wrong. Easy.

He sat down next to the turtle dude—Carapace—and stretched out his legs.

“I’m probably not supposed to ask this, but… are you really XY?” Carapace asked.

“‘Course I am. Who else has silky hair like this?” He tossed his head, and his hair waved a bit in the wind. All of the gel had gone out of it, but the magic made it flow backwards like some kind of slithering snake. He couldn’t wait to show Luka when he got back.

“Uh. Guess you’ve got a point.”

“Did you want an autograph?” XY asked. “I don’t think I’ve got a pen in this suit. The whole skin-tight thing doesn’t really work with pockets. Does make my abs look pretty good though—hey!”

Carapace had shoved him, making him roll a ways across the pavement. Rude. But a cheesy glop landed right where he’d been sitting, so he’d allow it.

“ _SNEXY!”_ Ladybug yelled from higher up the Eiffel Tower. She’d been pinned to one of the metal beams. Oops.

“Do something, man!” Carapace urged.

“Right, right! Man, Viperion always made this look easier…” XY spun his bracelet—

And found himself standing next to Ladybug again.

“Okay, well, we’re off to a good start.”

The jerk from one place to another made his head spin. Still, he did his best to look nonchalant.

“Yeah, yeah, go get Mr. Swiss up there. I’ll watch better this time.”

“This time?” Her brow furrowed beneath her mask. “What happened last—?” 

“Don’t worry about it! I’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, everything’s fine!”

He shoved her towards the villain—who promptly shot her with cheese.

Double oops.

Another bracelet twist later— 

“Okay, well, we’re off to a good start.”

That was going to get annoying really fast. What would Viperion do? Nothing annoyed him. He was _Luka._ He was chill, and cool, and… that was two different words for cold, but he _wasn’t_ cold, he was hot, and… 

XY was getting distracted again. Luka wouldn’t get distracted.

“XY—er, Snexy—are you listening?”

“Protect Carapace. Restart if you get shot.” He nodded. “I won’t screw up this time.”

Of all the powers he could’ve gotten, it was a good thing he had the snake miraculous. He couldn’t do anything right without screwing up first. Becoming friends with Luka, learning to make real music… it was too bad he couldn’t use Second Chance all the time. It would be nice to erase all his stupid mistakes.

Like the one he was making right now, by stalling. He went ahead and reset just to be safe.

“Okay, well, we’re off to a good start...”

XXX

“Pound it!” The other four heroes said after Cheddominator was finally Ched-dominated. Heh. That was a pretty good one. Too bad Luka wasn’t around to hear it.

“Woo,” XY said, weakly adding his fist to the group. That fight had taken _hours,_ not that the rest of them knew it. How the heck did Viperion make this job look easy?

“Rena, Carapace, go with Chat Noir. He has a few things to tell you. I’ll take care of…” Ladybug sighed. “ _Snexy.”_

“You sure?” Chat Noir frowned, but she nodded.

“I’ll meet up with you guys in a bit.”

Then she grabbed XY by the waist, and yo-yo’d them off towards the Seine.

He screamed as they flew through the air. There was a _reason_ he didn’t have flying powers! 

He nearly fell over when she landed them on top of Luka’s boat.

“Look, I really didn’t need a ride back,” he said, his hands still shaking from the trip.

“I know. But I needed to make sure the snake miraculous gets to its _real_ owner this time.”

XY slumped. Was she mad at him? They’d won, and _she_ didn’t have to spend four hours using Second Chance. So what was the big deal?

“Hey.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t get me wrong, XY. You did a good job. Chat Noir and I just decided that it would be safer if the temporary heroes keep their miraculouses full-time. That way there aren’t any more mixups, and they can get to the battle more quickly in case of an emergency, like today. I needed to pass that information on to Luka.”

“I can do that,” he said quickly.

She gave him a deadpan stare. “Just like you made sure to pass on the miraculous to him?”

“Well I _was_ going to.” He crossed his arms. “He wouldn’t have been much help while he was barfing his guts out though.”

“He’s— _what?”_

...Oops. Too bad he couldn’t Second Chance that. Or, well, he _could,_ but that would send him back to the start of the battle. And he wasn’t about to suffer through _another_ four hours of fighting.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” she asked.

“I didn’t want to embarrass him! But, uh… I guess I did anyway.” He winced. “I’ll make sure he gets his snake bracelet, though. Being a hero is _way_ too much work.”

She looked like she wanted to argue, but the beeping of her earrings cut him off. Sass had told him what that meant.

“You don’t have long before you transform back. I can do this. Trust me. I’m way less stupid than I used to be.”

He wasn’t sure if he convinced her, but she only had one dot left. His transformation fell around him, spitting out the little snake dude.

“That was quite excssssiting,” Sass said. “Do you have a sssnack for me?”

“Huh?” Sass hadn’t told XY about that. He dug in his pocket and came out with a half-crushed bag of Doritos. “I was gonna eat these, but I guess you deserve it for giving me that cash money hairdo.”

Sass sniffed the chips tentatively. “I guessss that will do.”

Ladybug had watched the exchange in silence. “I’ll be back to check on Luka tonight. If you don’t give Sass back, I know where you live.”

Before he could reply, she leapt off the boat and swung away. What would happen if her magic ran out while she was in the air? He shuddered, glad his weapon had just been a lyre. Not that he’d used it much during the fight.

“It will be nicssssse to see Master Luka again.” Sass smiled. “I trust you will deliver me safely?”

“Totally, bro.” XY tapped his fingers against the bracelet, which felt colder now that Sass wasn’t inside it. “I’ve just got one more thing to do first…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Alyce for beta reading! And to Janai for being patient with this chapter! :D

_ Alright, XY. Just play it cool. You can be cool.  _ He was a number one chart topper, so cool he could— 

Freeze his feet to the floor before he even got to Luka’s room.

“I can’t do this. I’m cool enough that Lu should just confess to me instead, right?” 

He looked to Sass for help—the little guy had sounded surprisingly smart for a snake—but of course he wasn’t there. Sass had been sucked back into the purple suit when he’d transformed. 

“No. He’s probably just too intimidated by how sexy I am to confess first. Besides, I’ve got the snake miraculous, not the chicken miraculous. I’m gonna slither my way into Lu’s heart.” 

He had infinite chances to nail his confession. Why was he still so nervous?

Probably because he’d never confessed a crush to anyone before. But in a few seconds, that would change.

“Second chance,” he whispered before pulling the tongue on the bracelet. Then he smoothed back his flowing hair and opened the door to Luka’s room.

The first thing he noticed was that the connected bathroom was also open. Luka wasn’t in there anymore. Was he feeling better?

“Luka?” XY whispered, stepping towards the bathroom. “Lu?”

A groan startled him. He twisted his bracelet by reflex.

Aaaand he was standing outside of Luka’s room again. Stupid! That had been an I’m-in-pain-and-might-throw-up-again groan. Luka might need him!

He burst into the room and immediately looked to where he’d heard the groan. Luka’s bed.

Luka was bundled up in so many blankets, XY hadn’t noticed him at first. Even though Luka looked like a human burrito, he was _still_ shivering.

“Luka?” XY whispered, shuffling towards him.

His foot caught on the rug, and he faceplanted before Luka even opened his eyes.  _Ow._

“Nngh… sec...nd chansh…”

When XY blinked, his nose no longer felt broken. Whew. He could do it this time. All he had to do was go in, _not_ fall over, and tell Luka that he was the love of his life.

“Why do I feel like  _ I’m  _ gonna throw up?” Maybe he’d caught whatever virus Luka had. 

Oh no! What if he confessed his crush and Luka wanted to pull him into a passionate kiss? Then they’d _both_ get sick and… that could be kind of romantic, right? Both barfing into the same trash can, recovering in the same bed…

_ Stop being stupid.  _ He smacked his cheeks. Luka might not like him at all. And XY was supposed to be taking care of him, not talking to himself outside of Luka’s room.

This time, he knocked before entering.

“Lu? I’m back.”

He opened the door, stepped inside, and _didn’t_ trip on the rug this time. 

Luka managed to bend into a sitting position, then blinked bleary eyes at him.

“XY?” Luka groaned, but this time it was an I-know-you-did-something-stupid groan. “Why are you using my miraculous?”

“Uh… because Ladybug picked me?” XY grinned in a way that hopefully looked convincing.

“You know what? Too tired to care.” Luka flopped back down. “Wake me up… when September ends. Or if the akuma gets here… wha’ever comes last.”

“It’s October already. And there’s no akuma anymore.” XY scooted over one of Luka’s amps and used it as a seat. “I helped beat it. I’m a real hero, Lu.”

“Huh,” Luka murmured. His eyes were already drifting closed. “What a weird dream…”

XY pouted. “You’re not dreaming! Look, I can prove it. Second chance!”

Now Luka would have to see that XY was a _real_ superhero, and…

Dang it. XY was standing outside Luka’s door again.

“This is a stupid superpower,” he muttered, though he didn’t really mean it. He sighed and slumped back into the room.

This time, he’d been quiet enough not to wake Luka up. He looked so peaceful, even if he was only resting because he was sick.

Maybe… maybe it was selfish of XY to try to confess right now. If he really cared about Luka, he would just try to help him feel better, right? Maybe that was the real point of the Second Chance: to give him time to think before going through with such a stupid plan.

He glanced down at the bracelet, which beeped quietly. Could he slip it from his wrist to Luka’s without waking him up?

“Nngh… XY?” Too late. The beeping must have still been too loud. “Why are you… using my…” he yawned, exposing the swollen back of his throat, “my miraculous?”

“I’m not. You’re just dreaming about me.” XY smirked, then slipped the bracelet from his wrist. The purple costume dissolved to sparks around him. Even without a Second Chance, maybe Luka would fall asleep and think this really was all a dream.

“Huh. You’ve never had long hair in my dreams before.” Still looking a little delirious, Luka reached up to run his hand through XY’s coif.

“D-did you like it?” XY asked.

“Mmmmm… yeah?” Luka mumbled. “Looked silky… not all crunchy with gel.”

Luka opened and closed his fists, as if to mime crunching XY’s hair.

_ “Crunchy?”  _ He reached up to touch his hair. A little bit of gel flaked off under his fingers. Okay, so it was a _little_ crunchy, but how else was he supposed to get it to stand up like this?

“Mmm. Yeah. Be nice in… a ponytail, or s’mthin…”

Huh. He’d look good in a ponytail. Heck, he’d _rock_ a ponytail.

But that wasn’t important right now. He was supposed to be helping Luka feel better.

“Oh! Ladybug wanted me to give you this.” He held out the snake bracelet. “I don’t know if you want to put it on, or if you want me to set it somewhere, or… whatever.”

Luka looked at the bracelet. Then he blinked up at XY, long and slow.

“It’s kind of big.”

XY’s brow scrunched. “Big? You’ve got the skinniest wrists I’ve ever seen, dude.”

But Luka wasn’t trying to put the bracelet on his wrist. He was trying to put it on his  _finger._

“You should’ve checked my ring size… ‘fore you proposed…”

Before he.

Before he  _what?_

“Lu, uh, bro, did Jules give you some Nyquil before I got back? Or is this some kind of joke for stealing your superpowers?”

Geez, XY needed to lie down. Luka had been way more coherent earlier, hadn’t he? This had to be a prank.

“Stupid dream. Real XY doesn’t think that much.”

“Now that’s just resulting.”

“Insulting.”

“Whatever!”

Luka’s lips twitched in a laugh. “Still… a good dream, I guess.”

“Well. Uh. Good?” XY swallowed. His face still felt feverish. He had to be coming down with something; _nobody_ should be able to blush this hot.

Luka snuggled deeper into his blanket cocoon, but XY grabbed his wrist before he could completely wrap himself again.

“This isn’t a proposal,” he clarified as he slid the bracelet over Luka’s fingers. “I just don’t want you to lose this in your dumpster of a room.”

“So thoughtful.”

XY grinned. “Heck yeah I am.”

“Wish the real XY was like this…”

“Ugh.” The grin fell, replaced with a pout. “Remind me why I have a crush on you again?”

“Hmmm… I dunno,” Luka mumbled. “I got… good vibes? Hold my hand.”

“What?” 

There was no segway, but XY guessed Luka’s feverish mind didn’t need one. He grabbed XY’s hand and laced their fingers together.

“You’re still burning up, man. Should I get you some water? Or… I dunno, Tylenol?”

“No.” Luka’s voice was the strongest it had been all day. “Stay.”

The heat spread all the way from Luka’s hand to XY’s, then to the rest of him. Whatever the reason for Luka’s words—delirious dream or tasteless prank—XY was more than willing to humor him.

“‘Course,” he said with a smile. “I’m not going anywhere.”


End file.
